Thoughts From a Non-mother on Mother's Day

Confession number one: I love my mom! She's been such a strong woman through so many challenges and is a great example to me. Plus she has supported me in all my crazy schemes all my life. Happy Mother's Day!

Confession number two: I have never been one of those girls who wanted kids or even really liked them that much. I mean, they were fine but I was certainly in no rush to have my own.

Confession number three: Mother's Day this year has been really hard for me.

You see, there is a difference between not really desiring kids and realizing year after year that it ever happening is becoming increasingly unlikely. I just turned 30 this year and as a 20 year old I was sure I would be married by now with a kid or two. Instead, I am starting my career over and am very much still single.

Now, I am normally ok with being a single woman. I do not regret my life so far. I have had opportunities and experiences I would not have had as a married woman with children. I have a great roommate whom I am happy to do life with and I have some wonderful friends and family. But some days, looking into the great unknown of my life, I realize that it may never happen and that is hard.

I have had the great privilege to watch and participate in the last almost 3 years of Cadence's life. I've watched him grow and learn. I've had the opportunity to love him. He's changed so much and I got to see it and I'm going to miss so much being a part of his daily life. He and his entire family have been such an important part of my life. I grieve the loss of that daily interaction and I am sure I am going to miss them all more than is healthy! But the fact is, they have been a family to this single woman far from her own. And Cadence has made me want to be a mother more than anything else ever has.

Happy Mother's Day Mikala! Thank you Caseys for letting me a part of your family and for giving me the opportunity to love your kid. We've been through so much together and that kind of bond is just too hard to break. I'm going to miss you guys so much but I know you are going to bring joy and life to your new community!

So, yeah, I know I'm not the only one who struggles as a non-mother on Mother's Day. I know it is hard. I cry with you. All of you who are mothers, you guys are great! I hope you feel so encouraged today.